Arxon. I have a Asus G50v. read through your post, so I figured I would try on my laptop and see what the bios key was on mine, it was F2. I started pushing it slowly at soon as I hit the power button. I got a AMI Bios screen saying entering setup.
One note, an external keyboard will not work, I tried hiting F2 on a USB keyboard and it does not recognize it. So if there is something wrong with the F2 key on the internal keyboard that might be what is stopping you.